


'You'd Say Sorry, Believe Me, I Love You. But Not In That Way.'

by Ramoth666



Category: MCU, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Confusion, Crying, F/F, Mentions of Suicide, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Pining, Sadness, mental breakdowns, no one dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 08:21:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20060935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ramoth666/pseuds/Ramoth666
Summary: A couple misunderstandings and a night alone with tears streaming down their faces. When the next morning comes around- will love be revealed or will they go back to "normal"?





	'You'd Say Sorry, Believe Me, I Love You. But Not In That Way.'

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I got an idea for this kind of one-shot when listening to 'Love You' by Billie Eilish but it was you driving late at night (lol). I was in my feelings at the time and angst is one of the things I know I write semi-well. Anyway, please enjoy and you can leave recommendations for future one-shots or stories if you'd like. Thank you all! ~Ramoth (I also don't own these characters and didn't re-read so all mistakes are mine, thanks.)

The rain hit the windshields and windows like bullets, smacking against the clean glass and never showing a sign of stopping. She watched the road quietly, eyes glued to the red and yellow lights of the cars surrounding her as she drove, hands gripping the wheel and slowly pulling her body closer. With her feet placed perfectly, quick reflexes always present, she was ready to stop or speed up at any time. Even though the bags under her eyes were visible to everyone- she still drove with a concentrated vigor, focusing on just getting the two of them home and safe. Because the woman passed out in the seat next to her with alcohol plaguing her breath, wasn’t safe on the road in the rain with sad music playing and a sleep deprived driver leading her home.

Glancing quickly to her right at her passenger, the older woman let out a soft huff, grateful for the splattering rain masking her verbal pain as she gently tried to relax and sit back. It wasn’t the first time she drove on the highway in the rain, but it was her first time driving with a drunken sleeping beautiful passenger in the seat next to her who just so happened to be her teammate. But not a friend- no they weren’t close enough to be friends and the redhead knew that but she couldn’t help the anger and worry that had surged through her veins the second she heard that her fr- teammate- was in trouble. Having swiftly gotten dressed in under five minutes, the sly woman had already slipped out of the headquarters and into the night, racing to get into one of Tony’s cars and speed over to a bar that was located way outside of the city limits. About halfway there, the gates of heaven opened and the entities above began to cry, making everything seem so much more… real and sad. She realized that the second she saw her friend stumbling out of the bar with the bartender on her shoulder, the man politely telling her that he’d call someone for her but that she needed to leave. The girl had merely laughed in his face, giggling about who knows what as the entities’ tears continued to rain down on her pale skin.

Then Nat had gently taken her off his hands, thanking him in the process while she dragged a bratty Wanda out and into the car, being as careful as she could with her because the alcohol seemed to affect her use of her limbs. After a few seconds of tripping over each others feet, Wanda was eventually tucked into the passenger seat of the car, the seat belt strapping her in tightly as she flailed around and giggled, laughed, and whispered softly to herself like a madwoman. But Natasha only felt bad- the corners of her mouth pulling down into a frown as she stared at the younger woman in slight shock and a hell of a lot of sorrow. She had no idea what had driven her teammate to go out that night, drinking like her life depended on it, but she knew that even if it wasn’t her job to save her- that she would in a heartbeat. Because Wanda was special and no one but Natasha knew that, it had been that way for a long time.

When she started the ride back, the redhead played into the brunette’s antics, smiling softly at the road in reply to her vague jokes and horrible punchlines. But once Wanda’s head began to loll to the side and her big pretty green eyes started to close, Natasha let out a heavy breath, quietly glancing at her repeatedly until she knew for sure that the powerful witch was asleep. Asleep in one of their friend’s cars and snoring ever so softly, her brows furrowing from time to time in her dream. The redhead couldn’t help but watch, a slow cloud of sadness swirling within the pit of her stomach as tears slowly began to build in her eyes and the familiar burn of emotions began to rip through her esophagus. Forcing everything back, she tried her damn hardest to concentrate on the road, on getting them home and even more safe and getting Wanda out of those soaked barely-there clothes and into a warm bed in pajamas before she went back to her own room and forced herself to sleep with her own feelings slowly choking the life out of her. And she didn’t know why she was crying, she didn’t know why she was hurting so bad but the young witch got to her in a way that no one else did- and seeing her so ruined made her feel guilty, like she had failed her job of having to take care of her. But no one knew of her feelings or her thoughts for her teammate, and they frankly, never bothered to ask, so caring about her in silence was the best she could do.

The soft lyrics of sad music began to fill the air, entering her ears and registering in her brain as those emotions resurfaced and she clenched the black leather steering wheel tighter, swallowing harshly. The gentle lilting voice of a popular young singer made her shake, made her feel weak and powerless against the overflow of rain pounding against the car and road and against the slap of feelings that rippled across her soft porcelain skin.

** _‘We fall apart as it gets dark’_ **

  
** _‘I'm in your arms in Central Park’_ **

  
** _‘There's nothing you could do or say’_ **

  
** _‘I can't escape the way, I love you’_ **

  
** _‘I don't want to, but I love you’_ **

Choking softly, the spy couldn’t help but shake her head and decide for the better- she needed to pull over and clear her mind. She couldn’t risk another person getting hurt, especially when that other person was as important as the sleeping woman beside her. And Wanda wouldn’t even notice, not if she pulled off the road silently and gently shut the door before resting against the car, letting the rain blend in with her salty tears, and then deciding to get back into the car and act like the empty feeling in her chest wasn’t due to the drunken brunette who decided to steal her heart without trying.

So making up her mind, she flawlessly reared off the road and into the wet grass, the skyline of the city already in view and fading in and out of clarity as the windshield wipers slammed left and right to clear the ever-pouring rain out of her eyes. The bright lights of millions shone against the starry sky, all signs of life pointing towards her home as she finally leaned back in her seat and closed her eyes very briefly, breathing deeply and taking a moment to still her mind. Then her eyelids fluttered open, tears distorting her vision as she turned her head to lay her green eyes upon the sleeping girl, her body rising and falling with each soft breath as she fell further and further into her own dreamy world.

Quickly gripping the door handle, she pulled on it and slid out of the car, her right hand moving to undo her seat belt and only wincing slightly when the hard plastic slammed against the side of her seat. The rain hit her skin immediately, banging against her body with a reckless abandon as she softly closed the car door behind her and moved to the side, her leather jacket slipping against the sleek black material of the car while she pressed against it and crossed her arms. The older woman’s red curls were soaked within seconds, sticking to her skin and causing small drops of water to slip off the tips and onto her face- as if the hard rain itself wasn’t doing a good enough job. And she continued to think, those realizations and memories floating to the deep surfaces of her mind as she thought of the woman in the passenger seat and the broken sleeping people in their team headquarters and the friends she had lost to death when she was younger- and all the pain she had made her life's mission to push past and shove as deep down as she could in order to succeed. Natasha’s life was never hers, that she knew, but the mere thought of it was blown out of proportion the second she thought of having to spend the rest of it alone.

Because in that moment in time- Natasha Romanoff was alone. Closing her eyes tightly, the tears that she had tried to gather like flowers and push back into the darkest parts of her mind, rose to the surface once more and began to cascade down her cheeks like waterfalls. With skin as cold as ice, she crossed her ankles, allowing the soggy grass and watery soil to squish beneath her heeled boots. Then her green eyes shot open, burning just slightly as a few drops of rain fell off of her lashes and dripped into her eyes, making her blink repeatedly before staring at the speeding cars that passed her without a thought. No- not a single person stopped or stared or wondered why the hell a very expensive car was parked randomly on the side of the highway, because that was considered normal in the New York that she lived in. In the universe that she lived in. Scoffing quietly to herself, the redhead whimpered, completely missing the sound of one of the car doors opening and closing.

Then she stepped forward, inching closer to the wet ground of the concrete all while staring at the dark abyss they called ‘space’, a slightly lit up void that held places unbeknownst to most of the few humans that lived under rocks. It had been hard when she first got the call from Sam stating that he thought he had seen Wanda on one of his midnight flying therapy sessions. He didn’t get much sleep anymore- none of them did, but the only way to cure it for him was flying- and by the time he realized that the stumbling woman in the dreads of the city wearing fishnets, leather laced boots, a familiar red leather jacket, and black dress could’ve been Wanda; well he was already too far away to turn back and carry her home. So he called the only person he knew would pick up and not freak out immediately- a person that understood Wanda more than she understood herself and would think clearly when it came to the brunette being in trouble. Nat had also been thankful, making sure to call him back once she had gotten into the car and continued to just talk peacefully with the sleep-deprived man, both of them trying their hardest to calm each other down as much as they could before she eventually reached the bar the witch had been spotted outside of.

“Natasha! What are you doing!?” Wanda screamed from behind her, her tone barely reaching her tired ears over the pelting rain.

Whipping around, the redhead inhaled softly, her plump lips falling open as she saw the brunette trying her hardest to hold herself up against the car, the right side of her body leaning heavily against the vehicle. Confusion had set in- Nat could see it- as the rain slapped against their bodies so hard it could’ve made dents in their skin, Wanda’s brow was furrowed as her sleek strands of light hair were covered in rain and stuck to the side of her face. Clearly, she was uncomfortable being out in such harsh weather- but Nat stood like a statue, only a bit of shock clear on her smooth features as she turned to face the other woman. Since she had moved closer to the edge of the road, the brunette had to scream for the redhead to hear her.

“Wanda get back in the car! It isn’t safe out here!” she shot back, her voice straining against the heavy sounds of the angel’s tears falling around them.

“But it’s safe for you?!” the fiery witch replied angrily, words muffled but still loud enough for Natasha to hear them.

Glancing away for a moment, the spy was out of quips. She couldn’t say yes because that was a lie and if she had said no- then Wanda would’ve forced her into the car anyway. A small grunt could somehow be heard, the younger woman finally willing to push herself off of the car and stumble towards her teammate. Green eyes shot up at that, watching as Wanda tried her hardest to keep her balance as she slowly grew closer to the waiting redhead.

“Natasha what are you doing?! Come on!” she yelled quickly, her face displaying pure urgency and slight irritation.

“Just get back in the car! I’ll be there in a second!” Nat growled back, her cold pale hands clenching into hard fists as she took another step back.

“Nat you’re getting close to the road, please just come back to the car!” the Sokovian tried to get through to her.

And if Natasha looked close enough- she swore she could see tears streaming down the younger woman’s cheeks. But she couldn’t get back into that car- not until she caught her breath and got away from the suffocating witch before her.

“Nat!” Wanda yelled urgently, little sobs rumbling in her throat as she gripped the back of the car- by the trunk, and tried to hold on.

But Natasha was caught in a daze, her green eyes staring off into space as her feet pivoted again and she moved to take another step back. She was already on the concrete, in between the white line where a car would usually pull off and not get disrupted, and her body was making another move- to just get away from Wanda and catch her breath, that was it, no harm no foul.

“Natalia Alianovna Romanova you come back here right now or I’m using my powers!” Wanda screamed over the rain, her voice somehow having grown louder and more impactful as she threw herself forward and broke into a sprint towards the seemingly lost spy.

Nat looked up just then, a small gasp leaving her lips as Wanda almost tripped over her own feet and managed to get ahold of the older woman’s wrist, gripping the skin tightly before she stepped back and felt her heel dig into the soft grass beneath them. Tumbling backwards, the brunette brought Nat along with her, stormy grey-green eyes widening in surprise as she let out a small yelp before allowing her eyelids to close tightly; bracing herself for the hard smack of her back against cold wet ground. But it never came. In fact, it had happened so fast that Wanda never got a chance to comprehend what exactly happened. Had Nat caught her? Was that why her strong arms were wrapped around her waist and why her left leg was bent at the knee like she had just dipped her while dancing the Tango? Is that why Natasha’s bright green eyes were locked onto her own and why her minty breath was hitting her face because she was so close? Was that why she was crying too?

“Nat,” the brunette whispered, brows furrowing as her hoarse voice broke the freezing air, making Natasha jerk away as she tried bringing a hand up to tuck a strand of red hair behind a cold-bitten ear.

“Let’s go,” the older woman finally said, her own voice gravelly as she tried to clear it and straighten herself up, pulling Wanda along with her.

It was strange- the sudden shift in Natasha’s emotions, but Wanda just guessed it was because of the proximity. She probably hadn’t been comfortable with it. They walked back to the car silently, the rain smacking down around them with their heads bowed, frowns covering their faces, and a billion thoughts swirling around within each woman’s mind. As soon as they both slipped in, a new song began to play on the radio- filling their ears and making them frown even further as both teammates closed their respective doors.

** _‘I'd never ask you cause deep down’_ **

  
** _‘I'm certain I know what you'd say’_ **

  
** _‘You'd say I'm sorry believe me’_ **

  
** _‘I love you but not in that way’_ **

Nat looked away, sniffling softly as she began to slide her usual emotionless mask back onto her face. Quickly buckling herself in, she waited for Wanda to do the same, her green eyes staring blankly at the road as she waited for the expected click so that she could just drive, arrive, get out, and cry. But the click never came. In fact, no shuffling was heard as Natasha regretfully turned her head to face the brunette- who was staring right back at her. Wanda looked mad, a storm brewing behind those grey orbs as she looked at the redhead with a stare so intense, it shook the older woman to her core. But it was silent- no one spoke, no one breathed too loud, it was only the splattering rain and soft singing of yet another pop singer that flowed between them, the words of the song displaying the feelings they both hated but needed to hear.

_‘**And I hate to say I need you’**_

  
** _‘I'm so reliant’_ **

  
** _‘I'm so dependent’_ **

  
** _‘I'm such a fool’_ **

  
Still no one spoke.

  
** _‘When you're not there’_ **

  
** _‘I find myself singing the blues’_ **

  
** _‘Can't bear’_ **

  
** _‘Can't face the truth’_ **

“Why’d you do that?” the brunette husked, Nat blinking in surprise as she crushed the deafening silence.

“Why’d you do that?” the redhead shot back, putting more emphasis on the last word as she felt her walls slowly shoot up around her heart.

“I was upset.”

“So was I.”

“But you don’t just- you don’t-” Wanda stuttered.

“You don’t what Maximoff? Walk into the rain because you need a breath of fresh air? Or travel miles away from your friends to go into a stingy bar and get drunk?” Nat was mad- she had a right to be, the brunette could have ruined everything- could have gotten herself killed and meanwhile killed Natasha in return.

“I can handle myself,” the Sokovian growled, her brows setting as she turned in her seat and propped her elbow up against the soft black seat.

“You were carried out by the bartender and passed out the second you got into the car,” Natasha said just as harshly, still not moving to match the other woman’s position.

“I thought you were going to kill yourself!” Wanda shouted then, her voice breaking as tears began to bubble up in those evergreen eyes.

The spy was dumbfounded, her own brows pinching together as her lips fell open in slight shock and confusion. Slowly undoing her seat belt, she sat up, hands limp in her lap as she stared at her fr- teammate.

“What? Wh-why would you think that?” she muttered, green eyes searching Wanda’s sad gaze.

“Because you got out of the car in the middle of nowhere and began walking towards the highway! What else would I think Natasha!?” the brunette sobbed, face contorted with sadness as her pink cheeks became red from holding in her louder whimpers.

“I-” she didn’t know how to respond to that; how would a person respond to that? “Well I wasn’t,” Nat finished then, knowing that it wasn’t the best answer but it was the best she had.

“Oh now you tell me, thank you! Thanks Nat,” the Sokovian said sarcastically, throwing her hands up as she fell back into her seat and let out a shaky breath, desperately swiping at her tears to erase the evidence of her sadness.

“But you? How could you just do that without telling anyone Wanda!? You could’ve died!” the spy barked, not yet finished with their conversation.

“So?! I have my powers. I can take on armies Natasha, you really underestimate me,” the younger woman scoffed.

“I fucking care about you!” the redhead wailed, her eyes alight with anger, pain, and a fierce compassion.

Silence. Silence once more, it seemed to be their friend on that day, and then a sudden hitch of someone’s breath. They didn’t know whose but both Wanda and Natasha stared at each other with a dangerous amount of emotion and concentration. But then the brunette broke the silence, swallowing as she parted her dry lips to speak.

“No-,” Natasha cut her off, raising a finger, “no, I need to speak and you need to listen. I don’t care that you can take care of yourself Maximoff, anything can happen. No matter what powers you have- you are still human, you can still get hurt,” she spoke sternly, her eyes sharp as her brows set into their normal position, making her seem much angrier than she was.

“I’m not a human Natasha, and you will just say my name? I’m Wanda! This,” she pointed fiercely to herself, “is Wanda! I’m a mutant Nat, you know that, so why do you always say I can get hurt?” she asked tiredly, throwing her hands up again.

“Because you aren’t fucking invincible Wanda! We both know what those bastards did to you when you were being used as a weapon! You can be hurt and I don’t want that to happen!” the redhead screeched.

“Well why do you care so much?! You still call me by my last name dammit!” Wanda said in reply, sitting up again and inching closer to the older woman.

Silence. Silence yet again because none of them really knew how to answer that question. Wanda was in a constant state of confusion when it came to the spy and Natasha had no interest in spilling the rest of her feelings- but saying you cared about a friend couldn’t hurt right? She wanted to be more than teammates, she just hoped it wouldn’t have to take her saying that fully for Wanda to realize.

“Because I care about you,” Natasha replied softly, the walls she tried so hard to build just becoming liquid under the vaporizing gaze of the woman before her, “because I don’t want to see you hurt and I don’t want you to end up like the others,” her voice was husky, her prized vocal chords having been destroyed due to her screaming in the rain as well as crying so much.

“Nat- I-”

Natasha shook her head (silencing Wanda in the process), and glanced away before she started up the car again and sighed softly, hands gently gripping the wheel as she waited for the brunette to buckle her seat belt- which she did quickly and eventually settled in. With quick movements and a hard focus on the road, Nat sped off back onto the highway. They stayed silent the rest of the way back, Wanda still settling into her sober state and Natasha trying her hardest to calm down and retreat back into the castle that was built around her heart.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Natasha! Please just talk to me!” Wanda screamed, her voice echoing throughout the parking garage as she slipped out of the car.

The redhead was already way ahead of her, the clicking of her boots against the cold concrete being the only sound that filled the air after Wanda yelled for her, after she shuffled out of the car and began walking like the clappers of hell and only locking the car as soon as the brunette had slammed the passenger door shut. But Natasha wasn’t stopping, in fact, she didn’t bother to tell Wanda that she had heard her and that she so desperately wanted to turn around and reply but couldn’t because she felt sick to her stomach.

“Nat please!” she could hear the brunette yell once more, the desperation clear in her tone as the sudden slamming of footsteps started and grew closer by the second.

Natasha had already reached the elevator by then, her right thumb bent back and smacking against the ‘up’ button repeatedly as she sniffed and tensed up- waiting for the inevitable to happen where Wanda caught up with her and forced her to turn around and speak to her. But it never came, because the sudden pinging of the elevator brought her down to earth and the redhead quickly slid in through the metal doors. Turning on her heel in one swift movement, she hurried to close them.

“Natasha please,” the brunette whispered, her body slowing as soon as she was inches away from the still slightly open elevator, her hands limp at her sides and her green eyes slowly growing sadder.

Nat shook her head, crossing her arms and looking down as she denied, because no- she did not have feelings for Wanda and no, she wouldn’t act on them, and goodness no, she would never confess those non-existent feelings to Wanda because she didn’t have any.

“Nat- Nat- I care about you too.”

And those were her last words uttered until those metal doors had slid closed and she was on her way to the top floor of the Avengers Tower with her head hung and her thoughts revolving around the fact that it would take a while for Wanda to reach her because there was no other elevator that lead down to the car-park part of their headquarters- thankfully.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wanda had waited silently, her limbs slowly growing more tired as the weight of her actions began to hit her like a brick. Whimpering softly, the brunette ran her palms down the front of her face, swallowing as tears bubbled up in her green eyes and the corners of her lips started to dip with sadness. Then she stepped forward and pressed the button, returning her arms to her sides before crossing them without another idea of what to do with her tired hands.

With the sound of the elevator pinging, the brunette braced herself as she stepped in. As soon as she reached her desired floor, Wanda pulled her body into the living room, taking deep breaths before focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. Natasha’s floor was one above hers, Sam having insisted that they each get their own floors while Steve complained stating that if they did get their own floors- that they would at least had to have two team get-together each month- ones that were filled with laughter, fun times, and team bonding. Tony had agreed- reluctantly- but understood that they all needed some privacy. Gulping, the brunette trailed over to the familiar black leather sofa and collapsed onto it, her body finally giving into the fatigue that plagued it. She huffed, the sadness in her bones catching up with her- and to think- the only reason why she got drunk that night was because she harbored feelings for a certain redhead that didn't think of her in the same way. With her green eyes staring forward, gazing at the blank TV screen some feet across from her- Wanda sniffed.

Then she broke out into sobs.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Natasha waited. For a while. On the edge of her bed, with her head in her hands and tears staining her palms. And then she waited some more, in bed, leaning against her headboard with her knees drawn up to her chest and her forehead pressed against them. But after awhile, the redhead’s eyes began to close and the tired ache began to settle into her bones- so she slept, she changed into a tank top and sweatpants and curled up under her dark grey bed sheets and black duvet- and slowly nodded off to sleep with tears still streaming down her cheeks.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day was filled with grey skies and frost-bitten weather, the effects of the storm showing clearly beyond the windows of the Avengers tower. The heroes had decided to sleep in that day- each of them telling themselves that they should savor the little sleep that they usually got, and once they did wake up, each of them kept to themselves and successfully made the day one of relaxation. Steve, Bucky, and Sam decided to watch movies, Bruce worked a bit more- testing a few new theories he had, etc. and Tony had gone to see Pepper while Clint went to the gym and then out to eat.

Wanda had woken up on her couch, her eyes bloodshot and puffy and her body sluggish with the aftereffects of drinking and getting drenched in rain late at night. Following the brunette dragging herself off of the white piece of furniture, she forced herself to strip and step into the shower. Looking at herself in the bathroom mirror, the young witch let her tired eyes rove all over her slim yet muscular figure- her broad shoulders, ample bust, and sizable hips- but she didn’t look anywhere near healthy. Her skin was sickeningly pale and her lips were chapped, there were dark bags under her eyes, and she was shaking like a leaf getting hit by a gust of cold autumn wind. Then she ignored the obvious symptoms of sickness that plagued her body and turned the shower on before sliding open the glass door, turning the water on to scalding hot, and stepping underneath the stream of drops.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Natasha woke up shivering, her skin cold to the touch due to her poor choice of not drying herself off the night before. Tugging back her bed sheets, the redhead groaned at the feeling of a headache weighing on her temples- something she most definitely did not want to deal with at that exact moment in time. Sighing softly, she winced at the pain in her head before running her palms over her face in exhaustion.

Gulping, Nat remembered the way she had ended things with Wanda- and she frowned immediately, whimpering softly as she gently massaged her temples and let out a huff. She regretted it, the Russian knew that, but having no idea how to fix it had never been a problem for her; she always knew what to do with people and how to respond to them without making them too uncomfortable. But Wanda was different, Wanda was worth more than the strength she put into caring for others, she was worth every inch of her soul but Natasha was too scared to give that up- no matter how much she wanted to. Groaning softly to herself, the skilled fighter turned and headed into the bathroom to freshen up before deciding that she would talk to the young brunette. It was the least she could do considering that she didn’t exactly know why Wanda decided to get drunk that late at night- but the reasoning had to be sad.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She stood as still as stone underneath the hot drops of water, her head bowed and eyes half-closed with a blank expression on her face. Wanda felt emotionless, like her heart had stopped as she replayed the scene of Nat stepping back onto the concrete road- of her body getting dangerously close to those cars. Then her expression twisted into one of pain, viridescent eyes watering with tears as the brunette seemed to crumple into a ball- pressing her back against the tiled wall and sliding down until she sat with her knees pressed up to her chest and her arms wrapped around her shins.

It was traumatic, even though Natasha had said that she wasn’t going to do that, that she wasn’t going to hurt herself- it still hit Wanda like a freight train because intentional or not, the redhead could have died. Gulping silently, the brunette’s sobs were mixed in with the loud splashes of the shower water slapping against the smooth floor. And her cries continued to get louder until she was practically screaming in the bathroom, her voice reverberating off of the walls and making her wince as she couldn’t seem to stop. All she thought of was Nat. Nat dying. Nat falling to her death off the side of a cliff. Nat being crushed by a million cars on a never-ending highway. Nat. Nat. Nat. Nat, who didn’t care about Wanda in the same way that Wanda cared about her. Nat, who had yet to know of Wanda’s feelings for her but still didn’t understand why she was so upset that night. Nat, who didn’t realize that she meant the world to the young witch and that if she had died, she would have allowed herself to run into the traffic too. To die with her.

She needed her. She needed her so bad at that moment but the shame was too much. Wanda couldn’t bare the thought of the redhead seeing her so broken. Because that’s all that she was in that moment- a sad, broken woman who had gone through hell and back many times in her life, but had still managed to fuck herself up by falling in love with a person she couldn’t have.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After brushing her teeth, fixing her hair, and tending to her overall hygiene- Natasha agreed with herself that it was the right time to go find Wanda. She had stayed in her clothes from the night before, finding herself to be too tired and unbothered to change. And she decided to go barefooted, knowing that Wanda’s floor was only the one above hers and was easy to access using the elevator- which she did.

Upon entering the floor, the redhead stepped up to her door, her head held high and back straight- she needed all the confidence she could gather in order to apologize. But when she knocked on the door, no one answered, and when she touched the touch pad to let herself in, nothing happened.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. let me in,” the redhead said sternly, crossing her arms.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that Ms. Romanoff-”

“I don’t care, let me in.”

“But-”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., now,” the Russian argued.

“As you wish,” the AI responded, allowing the door to open.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Natasha stepped in wearily, careful not to disrupt anything or make too much noise as the door slid shut behind her and gave her access to any part of the miniature home. Not wanting to wake a possibly sleeping Wanda, the redhead was about to turn back- having not seen anything at first glance. But then her ears picked up something horrifying. Screaming.

With a spike of adrenaline, the redhead broke out into a sprint, her hair whipping along with her head as she looked down every hallway and in every room before reaching the bathroom. She heard running water from inside, as well as the loud sobs of the young brunette who had managed to provoke the spy’s senses. Pressing her hand to the door, the redhead breathed against the metal before knocking. But there was no response other than the same horrific sounds that seemed similar to a banshee’s screech.

“Wanda?! Wanda let me in- it’s Natasha,” the redhead blurted out as she began banging on the door with a nasty vigor.

“Wanda please, I need to know if you’re ok!” she yelled helplessly.

But Natasha soon came to her conclusion- the brunette couldn’t hear that someone had come to the rescue over the noises of her own pain. Taking a deep breath, Nat pushed the door open and was immediately hit with a cloud of steam, her skin becoming moist just at the contact of it as the vaporized water began to filter out of the bathroom and into the living area. Pushing through, Natasha waited for a few seconds until the air had cleared and she could see the fogged up glass of the shower. Wanda was still screaming, but her words were becoming more coherent.

“Natasha please! Please I need you. I’m so sorry, please, please come back. Please don’t go!” the Sokovian was in hysterics, shivering, shaking, and rocking back and forth with her forehead pressed against the tops of her knees.

“Wanda! Wanda I’m here!” Nat’s mothering side, which she somehow knew she had, shone through like a knight in gleaming armor.

And not caring about the brunette being naked, because that was the least important thing she had to deal with at the moment, Natasha slid open the shower door closest to the wall, turned down the water temperature to warm- and slid it closed. Then she went to the other side, opened that door and kept it open as she bent down and crawled in to face Wanda. The other woman’s skin was red and hot and the strain of her body showed off her muscles, which must have been on fire due to exhaustion- Natasha had guessed. Gently inching forward, she winced at the shrieking coming from the brunette- she seemed so small in that moment, and despite her abilities saying otherwise, the redhead had always guessed that Wanda was just a young girl in a woman’s body who had been forced to grow up too fast- just like the rest of them. Not really sure on how to approach, the Russian decided that using her voice would be best.

“Wanda,” she said softly, inching closer to the brunette’s ear as she slowly brought her hands up to rest on the sobbing woman’s biceps.

Still, the other woman didn’t let up.

“Wanda please calm down. I’m right here, you are safe. This is Natasha, I’m here,” the redhead said desperately, her husky voice somehow breaking through to the woman in front of her as Wanda suddenly stilled and her voice died out.

The only sound at that moment was the water, which was still running. She hadn’t turned it off for a reason- Wanda would most certainly feel uncomfortable knowing how loud she was screaming, especially with what she was saying.

The brunette tensed up under her gentle touch, her fingertips meeting the plentiful droplets on Wanda’s arms as she slowly encircled her. And knowing how panic attacks worked, understanding that it felt like ones whole world was falling down around them, she took the necessary precautions needed.

“Can I touch you?” she asked slowly, raising an eyebrow in seriousness despite Wanda not having moved from her position of staring at the white marble.

The Sokovian nodded after a few tense moments, the shift in her muscles quickly disappearing under the skin as Natasha wrapped her arms around the other woman’s shoulders and Wanda allowed herself to fall against the redhead- her forehead resting on her shoulder as she sobbed quietly and inhaled the other woman’s soft scent.

Both of them said nothing for a small while- Wanda too upset and shaken to say a word and Nat not really knowing how to soothe her other than physically being there for her. And when one of them did finally say something, it was Wanda, who was still clinging onto the Russian for dear life but had somehow gathered the courage to speak.

“I’m sorry,” she said hoarsely, her accent barely peeking through.

Natasha inhaled, her chest rising before quickly lowering again as she gently rubbed her palms over Wanda’s spine and back, careful of her hot skin and any ‘forbidden areas’ that her fingers could have wandered to. She was respectful, especially in that type of situation, and would have hated herself and any other person that would have decided to use the other woman’s moment of weakness for their benefit.

“It’s ok,” was all she responded with before pausing and finally starting to make slight conversation, “do you want to get up now? I’ll help you,” she whispered, knowing that soft voices were much more appropriate than loud/average ones.

“Yes please,” Wanda said after a beat, nodding against Natasha’s shoulder as she slowly began gaining the energy to pull herself up.

Of course the redhead ran to her aid, the muscles in her arms flexing as she pulled Wanda’s torso up and let her use and stretch out her legs. Then, once finally standing but still a little off balance, Natasha held onto her arm and gently led her out backwards- being mindful of her gaze as she kept it locked on Wanda’s face. Because the brunette seemed too frightened, maybe even embarrassed, to face the other woman in that moment- the memories of how she acted in their fight and only a few moments previous flooding her mind like multiple tsunamis. Slowly maneuvering out of the bathroom, Natasha kept a steady grip on the younger woman as she shut the bathroom light off and managed to pull her all the way into her bedroom and into a sitting position on the edge of her bed. And just as the redhead’s touch began to slip away from her skin so she could turn and receive clothes from Wanda’s closet, did the brunette speak again.

“No. Stay, please,” she said softly, her green eyes having shot up as Nat turned to face her, their gazes intermingling and touching upon emotions that both of them had put padlocks on and buried deep within their souls.

“Ok,” Natasha replied, nodding briefly as she let Wanda gently pull on her arm and lead her onto the bed.

Of course, still being respectful, the redhead took up the space closest to the door as Wanda shuffled over to the other side and allowed for the older woman to lay down comfortably. It was strange- like a scene from an awkward teenage movie where the main character and their love interest were laying down on their backs, staring at the ceiling with their arms by their sides. Although, in Nat’s case, her ‘love interest’ was naked, she was fully closed, and they weren’t awkward teenagers- they were damaged adults living in a world where panic attacks plagued the lives of the innocent. And then Wanda began to shiver, her teeth chattering ever so slightly as she stood still and her wet skin was hit with cold air.

“I’m getting you a jacket,” Natasha said seriously, not leaving any room for arguments as she walked over to Wanda’s walk-in closet and grabbed an oversized hoodie that was draped over a coat-hanger.

Then she turned around, her gaze briefly darting down to the logo on the hoodie and stopping as she recognized the familiar red shape of her symbol. The rest of the hoodie was black, except for that shining symbol that had been placed smack-dab in the middle of the sweatshirt, making her smile softly momentarily before resuming her taking care of the brunette on the bed. Wanda looked sheepish at that, her head bowing as she sat up on her knees, took the piece of clothing from Nat’s hands, and dragged it over the top of her head before reaching into the neckhole and pulling out her hair so it fell against her back. Then, Natasha rejoined her on the bed, crawling on her ‘side’ and taking up her previous position.

Silence fell over them again, the soundless abyss revisiting again from their moments yesterday- a constant loss of noise that plagued the rare awkward instances between them. Not really knowing how to respond, or start in general, Nat simply sat. She sat and waited until Wanda said something- anything.

“It’s your turn to say sorry ya know,” Wanda muttered, making the redhead snort, smirk, and roll her eyes.

She knew it wasn’t entirely Wanda’s fault that their fight had gotten out of hand like that- no she knew that she was to blame as well. After all, she understood why stepping onto that road nearly made the brunette have a heart attack, and why her not responding to her calls made Wanda concerned. Nat gulped before nodding.

“I’m sorry,” the redhead said hoarsely, turning to look at Wanda’s blank expression as she stared at the ceiling. Her words spoke volumes- a sorry that covered everything she wished to say but simply couldn’t.

“You’re forgiven,” she whispered before turning to look at the woman beside her in return.

And there they were, two damaged women with feelings for each other but were too scared to speak about them. Two damaged women who had been through hell and back together many times but were too frightened to call each other anything more than teammates. And then they had a fight, two damaged women breaking even more. And then there they were- alone together with heavy hearts.

“I- am sorry… again. You can leave now,” Wanda said ashamedly, looking away before turning onto her back once more.

She didn’t want to leave- of course not- but if the brunette witch wanted her to, then she would. But instead, she swallowed and copied the other woman’s movements; flipping onto her back and looking towards the door so she wouldn’t have to face her. Then, in a show of courage, because Wanda’s plees were burned into her brain, she turned her head to look at the younger woman’s side profile- the smooth outline of her features, sharply cut cheekbones, pouty lips, and wide eyes- she wanted to smile at the domesticity of the moment, but refrained.

“What if I don’t wanna leave?” instead, that’s what she answered with- her face as serious and as soft as the time she spoke to Steve about trust- where her hair was straight, down, and Captain America had said that he trusted her with his life.

There was a pause, Wanda sucking in a breath and holding it slightly as she didn’t bother to face the redhead. But her brow furrowed, and she chewed on the inside of her gum for a moment before licking her lips and parting them.

“Then stay,” she responded softly, shuffling within the hoodie.

Nat nodded, bringing her arms up to rest on her stomach as she sat still. The shower had gotten her wet, yes, and her tank top and sweatpants were sticking to her ever so slightly- but it had been worth it. For Wanda, it had been worth it. Her red hair was tangled and damp, curled strands flushed against the white patterned pillow beneath her, and creating a scarlet halo around the crown of her head. It was otherwise silent in the room, except for their breathing, and Natasha couldn’t help but hate it. Silence was starting to get annoying for her, so the redhead sat up and leaned back on her arms, her lips pursed and face blank.

“You ok?” Wanda asked softly from her place on the bed, her long legs laid out before her and crossed at the ankles.

Nat glanced at them, her green eyes roving over the smooth skin displayed before her as she finally took in the density of the situation. But then she shook her head, clearing her throat softly before nodding.

“What about you?”

All she got in return was the slight shuffle of clothing, Wanda probably shrugging before she, too, sat up.

“Can I lean on you?” the brunette asked carefully, not wanting to alert Nat and have her run away.

“You gonna start asking now?” Natasha shot back, smirking as Wanda rolled her eyes, smiled gently, and propped her chin up on the redhead’s firm shoulder- her body leaning against Nat’s hunched over figure.

They shared some warmth between them, their bodies molding perfectly together as the tips of their wet hair dripped onto their clothing. Wanda sighed softly, the small huff hitting Natasha’s neck and making her tense up slightly as the smell of mint and soap filled her lungs, a mix of Wanda’s breath and the shampoo and conditioner she had used in the shower. The redhead rose an eyebrow, willing her twitching fingers to not move and run themselves through Wanda’s soft brown curls.

“Should we talk about it?” Wanda asked softly, desperately wanting to clear the air and let Natasha know that she did care about her too- more than she thought she did.

“I don’t really have anything to say,” Nat responded, shrugging briefly as she crossed her legs at the ankles lazily.

“Really?” the brunette asked, her tone surprised as she took her chin off of Natasha’s shoulder and slid back- a frown on her face.

“What am I supposed to say?”

“Anything!” Wanda exclaimed, huffing as she got off the bed and began to pace in front of the redhead, who was watching with her brow furrowed and lips pursed.

“Wanda, please calm down,” Nat said gently, sliding herself forward until she sat at the edge of the bed.

“No. No I can’t calm down Nat! I’m sorry about yesterday, you’re right, I shouldn’t have done that. But- but I just can’t. I can’t deal with- with you and what you just saw and I’m just so sorry!” the brunette said loudly, her hands tensing, fingers parting, and body shivering with overwhelming emotions as her eyes filled with tears.

Nat was silenced, her lips parting before closing again. That happened about two or three times before her green gaze shot away and she stared off into space, Wanda’s words registering in her head and processing slowly but surely. Swallowing, the redhead nodded.

“I’m sorry too. For getting mad at you,” she paused, breathing in, “and for getting out of the car like that,” the fighter admitted finally.

Then Wanda turned sharply on her heel, her grayish gaze piercing through Natasha’s as they stared at each other- a strange fascination flowing through each other as their eyes dragged over each other’s bodies. Nat saw Wanda’s cheeks slowly turn red as she observed her long legs, slim yet well built figure, broad shoulders, and two peaks around the breast area of the brunette’s hoodie. Slowly bringing her gaze up, Natasha rose an eyebrow at the questionable reaction on Wanda’s part.

“Maybe we should change and then meet up with the oth-”

“I like you!”

Silence.

Silence and then the slapping of palms against open lips, Wanda’s hands sliding up to cover her mouth- which had slid open in surprise. Natasha’s eyes shot up to meet the shimmering grey of Wanda, who looked like she had just choked as she began shaking her head.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered into her hands, her voice soft but continuous as she repeatedly muttered those two words.

Nat stared in surprise, the only sound reaching her ears being Wanda and the rapid beating of her heart. Then she pushed herself off of the bed, her limbs managing to cooperate with her despite feeling tingly and numb. Taking a step towards the brunette, she noticed the fear in her eyes before she stepped back- but Natasha moved closer until the brunette was pressed against the wall and tears had started to stream down her face.

“I’m so sorry Nat I shouldn’t have said that, I didn’t mean to. It just came out and I-”

But Wanda was cut off by two strong arms wrapping themselves around her waist, pulling her cold body against Natasha’s as she stood still in disbelief. The gesture was unexpected but welcomed as she hesitantly removed her shaking hands from her lips and placed them on the redhead’s shoulders, slowly sliding them around her neck and letting her arms cross, falling limp against the top of Natasha’s back. Her skin was surprisingly warm in contrast to Wanda’s, making the brunette shiver as her legs quickly became weak.

Nat eventually stepped back but didn’t let Wanda go, instead she led her backwards towards the bed before turning them around and gently pushing the younger woman onto the plush duvet. Wanda’s eyes were wide, confusion and delight pouring into them as the fear slowly washed away, her gaze following the redhead’s movements. Natasha crawled onto the bed, her face passive except for a hint of a smirk on her smooth features- her body sliding in between Wanda’s legs, which had opened just slightly as she leaned back on her hands; copying Natasha’s previous position on the bed.

“What are you-”

“Shh,” the redhead said softly, the anticipation of what was to come settling into their bones as their gazes rested gently upon each other.

Wanda nodded obediently before staying still, although her chest was rising and falling with need and wanted expectations. Natasha moved in closer until her face was inches away from the brunette’s, so close that she could count each and every individual eyelash that framed her gray views, the silvery color mixing slightly with light and dark greens and even a bit of hazel. Her pink lips had parted in awe, a sign that yes, she really did want the redhead to move closer and just diminish the distance between them.

They were frozen in time, Nat’s lithe body resembling that of a cat with her back caved and legs bent at the knees, digging gently into the bedding beneath them. Her arms had snaked past Wanda’s waist and slid into the space between her torso and forearms, their hands not quite touching but still close enough to make the hairs on the back of Wanda’s neck stand up. Natasha’s eyes had roamed all over the younger woman’s face before finding themselves greeting her expectant gaze once more.

“I like you too,” the redhead confessed softly, her body hyper aware of the fact that Wanda’s fingers had twitched and were then resting against the back of hand.

But the brunette shook her head, swallowing as she slowly pushed herself up. Of course she expected the redhead to move back, but she hadn’t. Instead, she stood her ground and watched quietly as the Sokovian tried to gather as much courage as possible to speak her mind.

“N-no,” she paused, looking down briefly, “n-no I don’t like you like that. I- I,” Wanda whimpered, swallowing as her body slowly began to shake, “I’m in love with you.”

Her words were said so softly that even Natasha had to tune in fully in order to register her voice, her ears straining to hear the brunette. But it clicked, and rather quickly, and soon Nat’s fingers had reached Wanda’s chin and were pushing up gently- making the younger woman look up while her gaze immediately locked onto Natasha’s.

And no, the redhead really didn’t know if she had the ability to say that she loved her back, despite knowing that she did. Her past had never allowed that of her- had never allowed her to love or be loved in return but it took time to realize that she had made a family with The Avengers- that the greatest soldier alive, the most well known genius billionaire on earth, a dumb yet kind and warm archer, funny falcon, strong green man, and many more- it was surprising how they had accepted her. Especially when it came to the emotional, kind, gentle, bright, damaged woman before her- who was looking at her with a renewed fear in her eyes.

“I-” she paused, watching as Wanda observed her intently and stared at her with a sort of strange fascination, “I’m glad. Because that would really suck if you didn’t feel the same,” she shot back gently, smirking as it took the brunette a second to process her words. But then she lit up.

And then Wanda was surging forward, her pink lips pressing themselves against Nat’s as she leaned upwards and wrapped her arms around the older woman’s torso, pushing down until the redhead was unexpectedly straddling her waist, the warmth of her skin bleeding through the soft hoodie covering the brunette’s upper body and top of her thighs. Slowly but surely, Natasha took the lead, her lips sliding against Wanda’s until her tongue swept its way across the younger woman’s lower lip, begging for entrance. Letting out a soft mewl, the brunette allowed Nat to invade her inside of her mouth- her tongue gliding along hers in a gentle dance of need, passion, and relief. They had both wanted each other for so long- Wanda had realized that she wanted the redhead ever since she laid her eyes on her; she had thought at the time that it was a shame considering they were enemies and that she would probably not see her ever again but that had definitely changed. And Natasha realized over time that she certainly saw Wanda as more than just a friend or teammate, she was the object of her affections, although the brunette wouldn’t know that until that moment in time where their lips were pressed together and the younger woman was moaning into her mouth.

Eventually, they slid apart, Wanda licking her lips and flushing a gentle pink. Before kissing the redhead, her skin was cold and damp, but afterwards, it felt like someone had injected lava into her veins- making her heat up as she clung onto the other woman.

“You’re a really good kisser,” the brunette muttered as she hid her face in the crook of Natasha’s neck, small huffs leaving her lips as she inhaled deeply and reveled in the familiar homey scent that was purely Nat.

“Says you,” the redhead responded, smirking as Wanda’s hands gripped the hem of the older woman’s shirt and balled themselves into fists, the fabric wrapping itself around her knuckles.

And then they sat like that for a small while, Wanda leaving gentle kisses on Natasha’s collar bone, neck, and shoulders as the redhead ran her fingers through the younger woman’s damp brown strands. They sat like that until Wanda’s back started to hurt from leaning over so much and Nat’s legs began to fall asleep. Until the brunette almost began falling asleep against the redhead’s chest and Natasha almost fell over from how much weight Wanda was pushing onto her.

“Hey,” Natasha whispered, tapping Wanda’s shoulder, “maybe we should get up? Join the others- wherever they are?” she suggested, raising an eyebrow while smiling down at the younger woman.

“Mhm,” the Sokovian hummed in reply, whimpering softly while nodding against the redhead’s chest.

It was silent for a few seconds- no one moved and all was still peaceful.

Until Nat decided to bring her hands down and slip them underneath Wanda’s thighs and flip her onto her back. The brunette let out a small yelp as her body hit the plush bedding, a smile immediately overtaking her features before quickly sitting up and gently pushing the redhead’s shoulders.

“I’m going I’m going,” she smiled, rolling her eyes before throwing her legs off of the side of the bed and pushing herself up onto her feet.

Natasha quickly followed suite, standing up and stretching as her muscles slowly accepted the fatigue that plagued her body. Wanda turned, observing the older woman’s body as she lifted her arms above her head and ran her palms down the backs of them while arching her back to get rid of the knots in her torso and limbs.

“Like what you see?” the redhead asked, raising an eyebrow as Wanda’s gaze snapped up to meet her smirk before she nodded.

But then the brunette turned and began to stalk towards her bedroom door, a small smile gracing her lips as she went and felt Natasha’s gaze burning into the back of her head, watching her go.

“You might want to get dressed first hon- don’t want the team worrying about why you’re half naked would you?” the redhead smirked upon watching Wanda tense up and pause mid-stride.

“Shit,” the younger woman muttered, turning slowly as a deep blush covered her cheeks.

Natasha let out a light laugh, shaking her head in the process as she crossed her arms and watched Wanda shuffle over to her closet and disappear into it for a few minutes. Nat decided to stay in her tank top and sweatpants, her body warm as she wore the same small smile Wanda had on a few moments earlier. Then the brunette reappeared, a bit shy as she stalked towards the redhead and shoved her palms into the pockets of her gym shorts.

“Ready?”

“Yeah,” Wanda responded in a whisper, walking closer until she grabbed Nat’s hand and dragged her out the door without another word.

And they smiled. They smiled in the elevator after kissing softly. They smiled upon entering the common room where they spotted Steve, Bucky, and Sam watching Men In Black. They smiled when they sat down and joined them, shooting silent looks at each other as they sat only a few inches apart. And they smiled for the rest of the day, for the rest of the night, for the next week, and for the one after that.

They smiled at each other and together for the rest of their lives.


End file.
